In a few heartbreaking moments, the course of your life had changed;
Your life in all its certainty, suddenly became deranged.
I know they were with you for just a while, but the love was already so strong;
Left paralysed in emotion, you still wonder what you did so wrong.
With empty hands and a broken heart you barely walked out of that place;
No longer able to see them again, the pain marked on your face.
I know how much you’re hurting, I feel your unbearable pain;
I know you are looking for some closure, but you’re certainly not to blame.
The universe had other plans, details of which we may never know;
But all we can do is hang onto the memories and forever, never let go.
I know you cry alone at the park, in the car and even the shower;
And wake up through the night, at every ungodly hour.
You question your life and existence and wonder how you’ll get through,
There’s not many people that realise, just what this pain is doing to you.
People will tiptoe around you and act like you’re an unfamiliar face;
Just take it as they don’t know what to do, if only they did it with grace.
I know you argue with your partner and even snap at your kids at times too;
Don’t punish yourself for these moments, you’re simply finding your way through.
If the pain isn’t enough, your family and friendships will be put to the test;
You lose plenty, gain a few but doing what’s right for you is what’s best.
You’re in survival mode for now, and some just might not understand;
It’s the ones who stand beside you, listen and gently clasp your hand.
There’ll be lots of little reminders – the milk, the milestones and their things;
Your life was set, you were prepared for the next new chapter to begin.
Now your purpose is questioned, you feel so lost and live in your own little sphere,
You wonder what to do with yourself and why exactly you’re here.
One day you will smile again, but not before the guilt will hit you like bricks;
Try and allow yourself to enjoy the moments, don’t let your mind play tricks.
Just because you smile, doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or love them any less;
I know in one fell swoop, you’d do anything to have them again in your caress.
The grief will come in waves, but don’t think there’s a wrong or right;
You do what’s right for you and what eases your heart to sleep at night.
Be gentle on yourself and make time to do things for you;
I know you’re holding up the fort, but piece yourself together too.
So many of us suffer with you so please don’t ever feel alone;
My emails are always open or please just ask for my mobile phone.
If any positive can come from this, it’s the incredible people that you’ll meet;
The ones who may or not have been through the same but support you in your seat.
They’ll show you love and empathy more than people that you have known;
Perhaps your fall outs were to show you all the people you had outgrown.
I know you’ll contest, but you’re stronger and wiser in so many ways,
You take time to appreciate the moments and not merely count the days.
Soon you will find your passion and nothing will stop you from there,
People’s opinion and ill thoughts suddenly become less of a care.
You realised the true meaning of life and love and decide on living in abundance,
Surrounding yourself with beautiful energies and staying clear of all the nonsense.
So, whatever you do beautiful mama, don’t lose that beautiful spark;
Although it’s ok to sometimes feel lost, they wouldn’t want you to stay in the dark.
Their memory will live on especially in the actions and legacy you make;
It’s your decision to get bitter or better, which direction will you take?
They chose to you to be their mother, because they saw something so special in you.
And just as much as you are missing them, just know they are missing you too.
So be sure to speak their name with love and the utmost of pride,
Because their existence and impact life should never ever be denied.
And as they watch down on you mama, they whisper softly and say;
“Don’t mourn my death anymore dear mama, it just wasn’t my time to stay.
But please do live a life that’s full and don’t merely just exist;
Because even though I know you’re hurting choose life and do persist.”
So use their memory as your fuel to live a life of fullness and love,
And just remember when your time comes, they’ll be waiting at the gates above.