If there is anything I have learnt in my 30 years, it’s that we are often our own harshest critic.

For years, I was so self-conscious, lacked confidence in my professional ability, was anxious socially, always felt guilty for saying no (even if it’s what I wanted to do), beat myself up incredibly when I made a mistake and in general took too much on board of what people thought about me. Experience, mistakes and maturity have certainly changed me – and that is for the better!

Sometimes good people make bad choices, doesn’t mean they are bad people, it means they are human – unknown

Negative words and doubt are so damaging to our self-esteems. The reality is, the more we put a negative thought in our mind, the more likely it will occur. By telling ourselves we can’t do something, we are allowing the negative gates of our mind to open and a million other reasons why we can’t will appear.

While on the contrary, the more we tell ourselves we can do things, the more reasons we will find why we should and can do it.

Similarly, the more we beat ourselves up when we make a mistake (even if it’s catastrophic), the less likely we are to progress and learn from it. We must learn that everyone makes mistakes and that the mistakes we make have the power to turn us into something better than we were before.

I have made many mistakes in my life small and large of course none of which I am proud of. If I could turn back time I would change them in an instant but, those mistakes have shaped me into the person I am today.

Overly caring what people think is again a weakness in ourselves. I am not talking about being ignorant or disrespectful. Of course there needs to be a certain level of care to humankind rather I mean caring about the superficial things and needing validation from others. We need to be comfortable and confident in our own skin regardless of our age, ethnicity, appearance, level of education, social status and so forth. And with that being said, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air and thinking you are better than everyone else, its walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.

You see, it isn’t what people think of us but rather what we think of ourselves that matters. My husband always says to me – never walk into a room and wonder if people like you, walk into that room and wonder if you like them.

The moment we take ownership of our thoughts and only allow positiveness through, the more likely we will lead a positive and fulfilled life. In loving ourselves (in a confident and non-arrogant way) and being content, we allow greater goodness and opportunity into our lives and we begin to live more passionately and freely.

There is no better time than the present to stop self-sabotaging and start believing in your worth. If you’re kind to other people, how come you’re so hard on yourself? Make peace with the mirror and watch your reflection change!

Once you love yourself and shine from within, you no longer long for the spotlight.

What things do you critic yourself about?
Have you found mechanisms to help you overcome this?

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